The last one stand

People are leaving me, yeah i mean physically/geographically they are leaving, at the same time... And seems like everyone is extremely busy, including me. I don't wanna point fingers but something just doesn't make sense any more... maybe just to me they aren't, coz I am the last one stand.

Things between me and Andrew are getting a little weird in the last few days.

1, we are not moving in the direction that I want. that's understandable since he didn't want to start something from the beginning and I sorta pushed it over to where we are (were), and that was right before the party in my house. So to everyone who has asked me "is that your boyfriend?" I said yes. Now I kinda feel regretting about it since he is not so keen on that and want to take things slow... well it make sense and for a totally valid reason - bad timing, but still, I certainly feel the motion of my leaning forward and his leaning back, which irritates me quite a bit actually.

2, it is inevitable that we are going to be apart very soon, in 2 days... and everyone knows the long distance thing could be a dreaded nightmare to any relationship (if you consider this as a relationship, maybe not). We are going to keep in touch for sure, and hopefully, finger crossed, see each other in Asia early next year. Either I go to Korea or he goes to China for a short visit and pick up the fire, but it's just a plan for now, and chances are it's not happening. I am not sure at this moment but there's hope, and I am a optimal possibilitist most of the times. Things are not gonna be on hold for me nor for him, I'd like to have a chat and establish/find a common ground for both of us sometime before Friday night.

3, people keep telling me that I am crazy wanting things go seriously with Andrew. I know they are 100% genuine concerns for my benefit, but only I know what I have been through, no one else knows. Although I might be a little bit too keen on getting into a real relationship with a guy I just met not even a month ago, I am okay, mentally and physically. Andrew seem to be a really great guy, I'd like to keep things moving forward with him for at least a little longer and see how we are doing and where we wanna be. I don't want to hear anything like he is leaving or he is too young whatever. Those words do nothing but pollute my head.

4, there are some little things here and there I notice and irritates me sometimes, I don't wanna list them because they are too little and I don't keep them in mind for very long, and they could be part of a larger picture. Another reason being they are not always from Andrew so I guess they are no biggie anyway.

This probably gonna suck if this doesn't work out.