Can't remember how long I haven't been sick, probably not very long since I do remember there was one morning a few month ago I had to wake up in the early morning send out email to the team tell him I will be late. I don't mind getting sick once in a while because we are all humans, and we get sick, but this time is a really bad timing.
1. I have a Ruby on Rails server to setup before the weekend
2. Dan Crenna is coming to talk about windows phone 7 dev
3. Sam and Carolyn's wedding is less than a week away now
Gee... I hope Advil helps.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Good News
Andrew is gonna be back A LOT sooner than planned. YAY!
I am very happy to hear that. Although I do want him to make the most out of his trip, I simply miss him too much to deny that I want him back as soon as possible. Still, when I was talking with him online, I was all cool and laid back think for the best benefit for him instead of being all totally enthusiastic about his change of plan. To be honest I do think he will have many chances travelling to Asia in the near future. As long as our relationship works out in the way I am hoping, we probably will be travelling together too.
The only downside of it is we may not be able to tour Korea or China together this winter when I hit home for the Chinese new year. It's no biggie I suppose, the most most important goal of this trip is to come out to my family. Even Yuan doesn't think I should be spending too much time travelling since I will come out to my parents. Instead, he thinks I should be staying home with my parents as much as I can. I agree, but I am not sure how I'm going to face the inevitable awkwardness for that long... we will see...
Speaking of travelling, I booked flights for a short NYC trip in 3 weeks, to meet up with my closest cousin, and his parents, who are visiting North America for a short period. Yeah, another short trip after Montréal, which was very tiring, although I had fun during the stay, I didn't enjoy the driving part at all. I am not 20 year old any more. Although I use to drive all the way from Freddy to Toronto and back in 3 days, that was... the summer of 2005 I think, so yeah 5 years ago... Gee time flies... well anyway, I do hope this New York trip will be a good one. I will be having one night to myself. Not sure what to do yet, maybe hit the Greenwich Village to check it out? Last time I was in the village in Montréal by myself, it was ok, a little weird to be in there by myself tho. I'd like to have someone to go with me, but I don't want to have anything, you know, hook up or one night, with anyone since I am "taken". I need to keep my nose clean but I do want to take this chance to check it out.
I am very happy to hear that. Although I do want him to make the most out of his trip, I simply miss him too much to deny that I want him back as soon as possible. Still, when I was talking with him online, I was all cool and laid back think for the best benefit for him instead of being all totally enthusiastic about his change of plan. To be honest I do think he will have many chances travelling to Asia in the near future. As long as our relationship works out in the way I am hoping, we probably will be travelling together too.
The only downside of it is we may not be able to tour Korea or China together this winter when I hit home for the Chinese new year. It's no biggie I suppose, the most most important goal of this trip is to come out to my family. Even Yuan doesn't think I should be spending too much time travelling since I will come out to my parents. Instead, he thinks I should be staying home with my parents as much as I can. I agree, but I am not sure how I'm going to face the inevitable awkwardness for that long... we will see...
Speaking of travelling, I booked flights for a short NYC trip in 3 weeks, to meet up with my closest cousin, and his parents, who are visiting North America for a short period. Yeah, another short trip after Montréal, which was very tiring, although I had fun during the stay, I didn't enjoy the driving part at all. I am not 20 year old any more. Although I use to drive all the way from Freddy to Toronto and back in 3 days, that was... the summer of 2005 I think, so yeah 5 years ago... Gee time flies... well anyway, I do hope this New York trip will be a good one. I will be having one night to myself. Not sure what to do yet, maybe hit the Greenwich Village to check it out? Last time I was in the village in Montréal by myself, it was ok, a little weird to be in there by myself tho. I'd like to have someone to go with me, but I don't want to have anything, you know, hook up or one night, with anyone since I am "taken". I need to keep my nose clean but I do want to take this chance to check it out.
Thursday, September 09, 2010
28 + 1
I should have wrote something for my 28th birthday yesterday, but it was just a little too much happened that I was mentally stressed so heavily to concentrate on any sort of writing. I worked on a post for our internal blog, which is part of my work for the mobile team, but I just couldn't focus...
Well, I did had a good day in general. I got many birthday wishes over facebook and messages from all kinds of friends; I had THE FIRST video call with Andrew over skype, at work, in a small meeting room; I had a very nice dinner at Ryan Duffy's, perfect steak, wine and dessert; I even had a tall latte in starbucks, like I always do.
But, from my parents, that's where the frustration comes. It's of the same topic again, marriage.
I don't know what to do other than hoping them will take the fact that I am gay and I want to live a happy life. I do need to tell them, I know I have to. That's the only way that I can possibly get to the best result for me. It will definitely shatter a lot of things but if I don't do it, the struggle will shatter my life, and I only have this one life, I want to be happy.
I've told them that I have problems, problems that they can't help me with, problems that I don't have options to choose from. I hope they can smell something there. It is part of me as a person, and part of the pain I am suffering. But at the same time I don't want them to freak out already, I just hope they would start to think in the way that I want them to think, get a little hint, or get confused at least.
The way my parents worded was very harsh. I was depressed for the whole day until Kirk shows up with the card and wine. I didn't want him to see my depression since he is not out either. He probably won't be able to give me any positive advise or experience that I need on this topic anyway. It was my birthday, I missed Andrew so much and I didn't wanna be alone, so I went with Kirk to dinner. It was a really nice one, just the feel that I needed, with a different person tho. I started to feel like a bad guy after that dinner. Am I using Kirk for a place holder in the meanwhile? I started to judge myself for a little bit. I need to find a balance.
Well... 28 + 1, it's the first day of my way to 29, the last year in my life that starts with 2. WOW, I am getting old.
Well, I did had a good day in general. I got many birthday wishes over facebook and messages from all kinds of friends; I had THE FIRST video call with Andrew over skype, at work, in a small meeting room; I had a very nice dinner at Ryan Duffy's, perfect steak, wine and dessert; I even had a tall latte in starbucks, like I always do.
But, from my parents, that's where the frustration comes. It's of the same topic again, marriage.
I don't know what to do other than hoping them will take the fact that I am gay and I want to live a happy life. I do need to tell them, I know I have to. That's the only way that I can possibly get to the best result for me. It will definitely shatter a lot of things but if I don't do it, the struggle will shatter my life, and I only have this one life, I want to be happy.
I've told them that I have problems, problems that they can't help me with, problems that I don't have options to choose from. I hope they can smell something there. It is part of me as a person, and part of the pain I am suffering. But at the same time I don't want them to freak out already, I just hope they would start to think in the way that I want them to think, get a little hint, or get confused at least.
The way my parents worded was very harsh. I was depressed for the whole day until Kirk shows up with the card and wine. I didn't want him to see my depression since he is not out either. He probably won't be able to give me any positive advise or experience that I need on this topic anyway. It was my birthday, I missed Andrew so much and I didn't wanna be alone, so I went with Kirk to dinner. It was a really nice one, just the feel that I needed, with a different person tho. I started to feel like a bad guy after that dinner. Am I using Kirk for a place holder in the meanwhile? I started to judge myself for a little bit. I need to find a balance.
Well... 28 + 1, it's the first day of my way to 29, the last year in my life that starts with 2. WOW, I am getting old.
Friday, September 03, 2010
Doing alright, am I?
I still miss Andrew all the time, check his blog, facebook, msn, but I also start to not worry about us any more. Because it really does NOT matter at all how much I think about it. It is about how much we BOTH care about our "relationship".
I'm really glad that he went over and sent that "I miss you" message over last weekend, and I do miss him a lot and need to hear that from him, but I also think it's time for me to take a step back. I know he really mean it when he said that. I like it but I can't make him do that all the time. Andrew is in a new country, the country he always wanted to be in, the country with a culture he always interested in, and he is dealing with all the stuff that I was dealing with when I first arrived in Canada - renting a place that's at least half decent; getting into classes I need to take; maneuvering through the city and university (keep in mind Seoul is one of the few mega cities in the world!); knowing new people and making new friends, taking lectures; dealing with assignments and quizzes etc... He is going to be extremely busy, and all these stuff he does, have NOTHING to do with me. So I do expect the feeling to be somewhat faded over time, and I won't be disappointed by that.
We both know that's gonna happen. I just happen to be still in the mood of loving caring missing you type of thing. I moved on first last time when I was in a long distance relationship, but that was a little different (for now) since that one we had no hope getting back together. This time, I really hope, and I know Andrew is planning as well, to get back to Halifax after a year. No one knows what's gonna happen, and we will play by ear.
I am alright, I really am.
Now pack up the feelings and go to Montreal... by car... geez... it's gonna be fun I hope :/
I'm really glad that he went over and sent that "I miss you" message over last weekend, and I do miss him a lot and need to hear that from him, but I also think it's time for me to take a step back. I know he really mean it when he said that. I like it but I can't make him do that all the time. Andrew is in a new country, the country he always wanted to be in, the country with a culture he always interested in, and he is dealing with all the stuff that I was dealing with when I first arrived in Canada - renting a place that's at least half decent; getting into classes I need to take; maneuvering through the city and university (keep in mind Seoul is one of the few mega cities in the world!); knowing new people and making new friends, taking lectures; dealing with assignments and quizzes etc... He is going to be extremely busy, and all these stuff he does, have NOTHING to do with me. So I do expect the feeling to be somewhat faded over time, and I won't be disappointed by that.
We both know that's gonna happen. I just happen to be still in the mood of loving caring missing you type of thing. I moved on first last time when I was in a long distance relationship, but that was a little different (for now) since that one we had no hope getting back together. This time, I really hope, and I know Andrew is planning as well, to get back to Halifax after a year. No one knows what's gonna happen, and we will play by ear.
I am alright, I really am.
Now pack up the feelings and go to Montreal... by car... geez... it's gonna be fun I hope :/
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