A and B

A is a nice girl who i kept meeting with during the last few weeks. Yes I am dating her. This news has been spreaded all over my friends in Hfx, even some friends in Fred know this...I don't really want too much ppl to know at this stage coz simply i don't know what is going to happen myself, but anyway, things seem like going to the direction that out of my control. Or...do I wanna control it at all?

All of my friends support me persurading A. Including friends know and don't know my identity. I've been a single (by saying single i mean have no girlfriend) for about four years. I still remember when i broke up with my ex-girlfriend Miranda. She was such an adorable girl. We didn't have many thing in private, and I wasn't care about her too much. Sorry Miranda, I really sorry for what I've done. It's good to leave me anyway... And because of I know who I am and what I wanted during these years, I didn't wanna cover myself with a fake relationship with whoever female, instead I had two boyfriends one after another.

Angus, I still remember the time I spent with you. It wasn't all about happy times, more i can remember than happiness are our fights. It wasn't a nice ending between you and me but it was the right one. You are not a bad person at all, I loved you but I can't afford to live without myself. Xiaojin, we had a short repationship since we are so far apart. It was a crush for me, maybe because I didn't have what i wanted, and you just appear at the right time. U are adorable, affctionite. our relationship would last longer if we did not separate.

Anyway...all have gone. They say things you can't get are always the best ones, as the reason K said about our relationship, and with J. Only one thing you are wrong about me, K. I would never dump you if u don't dump me, although I'm not 100% sure about this myself...

Back to A, I like her alot, and I wanna have someone to share my life. Note, I said someone. I know who I am in bed, but I'm nolonger so picky... being alone is not a good thing all the time. I can certainly enjoy being left alone aside for sometime, but also nice to have one that i can show my care to, and not afraid to let the rest of the world know... A, please don't hold me a inch away, I'm afraid if this goes on, I might lost the motivation I rarely have on girls...

Brian is a good boy. I promise to the rest of the world. If you feel Brian is a cold person and hard to reach his heart, you are wrong about him. He is shy. He is afraid to talk to strangers. He wants someone to hold him like a child.

I almost cried out...
LOVE

Who Do I want?

I am really confused by myself now... I don't even know what do i want, who do i want...

To be frank, I am still the one I used to be, but this doesn't mean I can deny the feeling that I do want to be with someone, even that is a girl... If J or K or even Json can be with me, I would never wanna go fo A. Maybe because I was just being alone for too long.

I feel ashamed of myself, and pity... inside.

Another busy wknd

The game between UNBSJ and UNBF has been held for 4 years. I was there last year, and we were having the best formation we've ever had, but we lost. This time we don't even have enough players in Fredericton and I had to drive back to help, but we got a draw. It wasn't a great result but definitly not a bad one.

Weicheng said I played a good game, and most friends from Fred said I have improved a lot. I really don't know... I used to play a lot in the first two months after I arrived in Halifax, but I haven't been play for a month before, and I had my nail injured... Maybe I am improved indeed...Anyway, that's a good thing.

Gu Ming said he will introduce me that girl I saw in the moon party... I thought about this for quite a lot these days. I know what I was interested in, and it shouldn't be able to change, but the thing is, I might really have some interest in that girl too. Is that because I really want to have someone by my side? Mom asked me about girlfriend for many times, and my grandma, too. I am not old for sure, but maybe it is time for me to get a girlfriend now... I'm a little bit nurvers, afraid, and excited. Now I really don't know who I am...

feel lazy

I just feel lazy this week, every morning i wanna stay in the bed for a little while, which resulted in late for the bus this morning...So i got to work at 9, half hour later than usual. No big deal, I'm still early enough to not be the last one in the office. But i don't have good mood to work either. This kind of mood lasts even since i was back from NYC. Maybe I shouldn't take that vacation at all...makes me feel lazy again, no motivate to work...

Anyway, although I told Johnny I hurt my toe last sunday, and I told him I can't play for him this Sunday, but i decided to help him out. I will risk my nail and see what i can do for him. Matt won't understand this. I admit that I am a emotional person sometimes, and I am generally good to my friends, well... to those I like. Johnny is not just a friend to me, I like him, or maybe i should say i loved him. He is not a really good looking guy, and he is not the kind of person i was/am looking for, but i like him. I don't even know why...it just the feel that i can't deny. Well, too bad Joe won't go, I can't see him in SJ this weekend. I think i have already walked out from him. We are good friends. but i'm not sure if we are as good as my other friends. I don't know. For me, Joe is still my Mr.s right, and still mysterious. Maybe this increases the good feeling that I have about him.

Ok gotta go now. Tonite Matt, me, Yuan, Erin, Johnson and his wife are going to the Moon festival party. Hope it is gonna be a good one.

Back from New York

I have to admit that I like New York City in all. Although that's not exactly where I wanna live for my life, but if I do have an oppotunity to live and work in Manhattan, I think I will accept it.

What I like: Chinese food, Shopping Center, Nintendo World, Fifth Ave, Urban life, Central Park, Apple Store, Time Square...
What I hate: Too many people, too busy, too many starbucks, dirty subway, tough people, buildings are too crowd, no KFC...

I still like New York as what it is. Because if it changes, it won't be new york again. It's the unique, special city.

Pity or Regret

I wanted to title this entry as "遗憾 or 后悔" but I found that my English is really not strong enough to express my feelings about this weekend. Checked google translate and ciba @ kingsoft, still can't find a better translation. Well, could be our mother language being too powerful. lol

Well, first, the stripe club.
Matt, Frank, Weiwei, and I were in the only stripe club in Halifax, on Saturday night. it was soooooooo bad, really really crappy place, most of their ladies were out of shape(5 in total), or with no boobs at all... Anyway, I wasn't really interested at all. Matt, Frank and Weiwei were not interested either, the quanlity was too bad to interest any of us. It's just being a matter of fact that we have to get in to prevent we feel regretable that we did not accturally go, but everyone feel that we shouldn't have get in there after we came out. Anyway, I wasn't interest at all. For me, I was just don't want them too tell anything they shouldn't know.

Second, the air show.
I'm not a military fans, and I wasn't interested in aircrafts before i went to see the air show, but I have to say the airshow is a nice experience in all. Although it could be better if the weather was nice.

We saw 1 of the only 21 B-2 Sprite Stealth Bomber fly over our head at a very low height quitely. It was sooooooo cool! But i felt so pity that I lost my best chance to take the nicest picture of it. I wasn't focusing accuratly enough, sigh...


After B-2, there was an F-15 super sonic aircraft showed it's capacity to over come the wave drag. All of us were shocked by that. I've only seen that in pictures on the internet but last day we saw that in front of us. And there was a jet truck show, ran at a speed of 350 mph. With the weather turning from bad to worst, we left the air show earlier than we expected. We did not see the snowbird flying show, which left us something to see the next year, a little to regret about.

24

Now I'm offcially 24.
Happy birthday, Brian.

Fight with myself

Matt told me last night that his student loan has been deducted for 3800. Definitly a good news for him, and now he is planning how to spend those "extra" cash in NYC. What about me? I don't know...I'm now really need to save money.

Well...I'm not really bankrupted yet but I know how much I charge on my credit card every months, and, gosh why there are so many stuff I wanna have? I can still remember there used to be some time when I was in Fredericton, I worked in Manchu Wok and for Dr. Angeles, and was taking 6 courses before my graduation. My life was fully arranged with everything: study, project, meeting, TA, parttime job, social, soccer, etc. Although I wored in the "Biggest" mall in Fred, but i rarely buy anything in there. Maybe I just need to find something to fullfill my life. I want to keep my life a bit busier than what I'm having now, but do I wanna do it indeed?

Last night I went to Bayer's Lake to return those things I bought from Home Outfitter, and I went to Homesense and Winners after. I saw two nice shelves I wanted, but I did not buy them. I think that was a victory with myself. I'm quite happy, really. I do know what I want, but I need to know what I really need, and then plan on what I buy.

Tomorrow is gonna be my 24'th birthday, I will open a account with Altamira or ING, and start to save some money for my future, although I don't have a lot right now...

Crstal Crescent Beach Revisit

it was a great long weekend, had 4 friends came over from NB.
Well, as usual, we went to water front to see(show) the downtown area, and where i work, take some pics, had calamira(can't remember the name)...then went to the spring garden road, then mall, then we went to a new restraunt called hungery chilli, all spicy and hot food, nice authenticated chinese food. I LOVE it! But it turn out to be every good thing has it's down side. the price of their rice is a ripe off for sure... we decided if we are going next time, we will bring rice alone.

The next day is the highlight of the whole weekend. I wanted to go to soccer but they draged me to the beach, and yeah i'm pretty happy i went to the beach. Although I was there with Matt once, but it is still so nice to revisit it. The nice silver sand, green and blue see water, warm sunshine, even the water is warmer than what it should be. I definitely love to go to beach. This time I brought my huge camera alone, with battery charged, with memory stick cleared. lol. Took some shots of the family beach, and... the nude beach. lol. I wanna go to the nude beach naked as well...but i wanna go with my special someone. Don't know when he will show up. I missed the soccer on Sunday afternoon, it was the only chance i can play in a week. I wish i can get more oppotunities to play soccer, like what i used to do in my university days.

After the beach it was the triditional buffet... again... But the nice thing is, we played WE at my place at night, I won some, lost some. not too bad in all, but i could be better if i get win Matt. I lost him 5:0 :(

Sunday was rainny, played some WE. they left at 4, got another friend come over and did some private stuff. I don't feel great actrully. Maybe on that thing, Angus was the best one i had, but i don't regret that we broke up. I now have my own life, which is great, indeed. I consider myself as an independent person so we were not sutible for eachother at all. Jayson told me he can't see why most people should not like me, I hope he is correct. Wish you can get a good b/f before long, Brian.

How not to treat your computer

Anyone reading all these?

I'm treating this blog as my diary, write down some none sense words for myself, or...do i write them down for anyone? even myself don't usually look back what i've written. Is this the way bolg should be? I don't know.

I feel more empty now than ever after I moved to my new apartment. I missed soccer for more than 3 weeks, I now live farther from Matt, I went out with friends every weekends but I still feel empty inside. Luo wrote me an email last weekend told me that he missed me a lot. yeah I know we were in deep love a yeah before. actrully today is our Anniversary, the big day of our short relationship. I actrully do miss you too, a little.

Maybe every man is a playboy inside. likes to watch beautiful girls (boys) , just like me. After I broke up with Luo this spring, I quickly fall in the emotion of love, with the fabolus HK boylish Joe Well...it's not so smooth as always. he turn out to be my good friend now, like QY in the past. I like this kind of change, it's not what i really wanted, it's not what i dreamed about, but it could be the best ending for both me and him. Friends may last forever, lovers? I don't know.

When I played soccer last weekend after we came back from Shediac exausted camping trip, I saw a new face in the Dal soccer crew. I don't know anything about him yet, even his name. But he got nice body and face, and a little bit bad boy looking. Not as perfect as Joe but yeah he is my type. I tried to talk to him but he doesn't seem to pay attention. Anyway, I feel myself changed a lot after come to Canada. Or maybe I did not change at all, it's just I did not discover the playboy side of myself in the past.

Although I'm not sure about many stuff, but there's one thing I'm really sure about.
I WON'T GET MARRIED BEFORE I'M 30.

Trip, Money, and something else

I'm gonna have a vacation on the week of Sept 18th. I'm gonna go to New York!
Initially I did not plan for this trip, Yuan did, coz he has to take a week vacation before the end of Sept or else he's gonna lose it. Matt and I wanted to have a break as well, so we decided to go to New York. Oh yes, the first US experience is now officially on schedule.

To be frank, I'm a little bit worried about my financial status. I kept spending money like never before for three months till now. I bought some expensive janes, jackets and shirts, I bought xbox360 and games, I bought a set of couch, I moved to a new apartment by myself...Even I myself am suprised how much money I've spend in the past three months. I should go back to the days like I was in the University. Keep myself busy with working and exercises. Aosl I should make full use of my TV cable services as well as my new xbox360, take less time shopping.

I planned to open an account in Altamira on my birthday, and begin to save money. Yeah I should follow my plan.

Joe sent me several pictures about his trip in Montreal, I sent him some my pictures in Halifax and Shediac too. Discussed his trip to Halifax with him but I still don't know if he is comming or not, I have no expectation now. Good if he comes, nothing to lose otherwise, we are friends.

Found a pretty neat game online, hard though :(
http://www.boredmuch.com/view.php?id=764

"Good" camping

Well...this was my first experience about camping. I said, feel the nature, get wild, and we end up with feel the nature, not get wild.
The first day was good, weather was nice, a warm day, i feel like i was in my childhood my mom took me to the sea side in Weihai. The beach is big, really big. It's the first time i see so many people in a tourism site, and they are all Canadian! well...except us. The beach wasn't as good looking as Crystan Crescent Beach in Halifax, but the good part is it is warm so we can get in to the water. Salty sea water, long time no see(taste).
Before we went to the beach, we set up our tent in the campground. I thought that was not a hard job, and it does look good when it has been setup. But at night when it rained, we end up with leaking all over it. Yeah, there's something to do with the odd shape of the two bedroom tent. but if we set it up tightly, it shouldn't had so much water stayed on top. Anyway...the result was, we slept in water. :(
At night we had some chinese food in a restraunt near by, Cantonese Fried Lobster was good. and their egg roll was good too. lol. we prepared to have some bbq sausage and drink for the night but we only had some mashmaro and crackers. played some pocker, some majon, and it began to rain.
In the tent we talked a lot, some deep conversation. About girls, about personalities, future, life attitude, etc. I have been asked some tough questions, but i did give a good answer, i did not lie at all, really. I like Nancy, and i don't wanna break out relationship as best friends... Anyway, I did not lie about my sexturality. They doubted about it, and I'm pretty sure that they are still doubting about it now. I don't mind ppl know the truth, but I only wanna come out to my best friends.

In all, it was a interesting experience, my first camping experience, and yeah, i wanna do it again, in a better weather. lol

Best South Park Quotes Ever

Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?Mr. Garrison: What did you just say?!
Cartman: Oh, I'm sorry (Clears throat and pulls out megaphone), actually what I said was, "How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison?"

Mr. Garrison: I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

Cartman: Respect My Authority!

Mr. Garrison: Does anyone know what sexual harassment means?
Cartman: When you are tying to have intercourse with a special lady friend and some other guy comes up and tickles your balls from behind.

Cartman: It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

Crystal Crescent Nude Beach

It was my first time been on a nude beach. Me and Matt were not really expecting to see many nude over there but there are several of them. I did see two nice build sexy bodies but too bad i can't stare at them. lol. If I was there with someone special, I may would have join them already. Everyone on the beach wasn't shy, at least they don't look shy to show their private part of their good looking or bad looking bodies. Some of them are really fax, disgusting fat I mean. If I have such a body, I don't know what i would do...Anyway, the beach was beautiful, that's the key point.