Christmas in home

A and B's first ever Christmas tree
Make a wish. hehe
Beautiful isn't it?

Maybe

Maybe a self contained self centralized person like me shouldn't have another one to shwre life with...
I really feel pissed off tonite.

First snow in Halifax in 2006

Well I didn't expect it would come at all and I was screwed totally...
Waiting for the bus for 2 hours and then finally got on the bus and began another 2 hr trip home... well since everyone was experiencing the same thing as i did so i wasn't complaining a lot but still, I don't like winter.

First snow was reminding for me always. I still remember all the old days in Saint Joh, in Fred, and even days I spend in CCSC in Beijing...
The winter that I fought with K, the winter I struggle with S, the winter I went to work with N and G, the winter I drove my own stang with tires from An (I still owe u a lot I know), and this winter... seems like I will be spending my days with A, the girl current I am in relationship with, and the girl I am care about.

Snow...

Got My PS3!!!

It was such a big suprise from my GF. She got me a PS3! Thanks so much Alice.
Quote from Yuan: You are such a lucky bastard.
Yeah he is right, I'm lucky to have you, Alice.

My Wii

SHOULD I GO OR SHOULD I STAY

PS3 is coming up.
Wii is coming up.

Should I go or should I stay?

Give & Gain

Give: I give up the chance to have a playstation3, which is the latest gadget i should be crazy about as a hardcore gamer, and it's even beyond my dream. It was just about to be mine, but I didn't get it, or I should say I give it up.

Gain: It's the first time that I heard the entitlement finally belongs to me. I didn't ask for it, I didn't push her for even a bit. I know where I am in her heart at this stage, and I know I can finally say to myself, Brian, you are not along any more.

I didn't meant to just act like a gentleman by giving up something I would love to have and yet not affordable at this point. I didn't feel regret, at least I don't have such a big feeling about this. I just wished it could be mine by Alice's decision but it's not happening. I don't know why I was so calm about this, even Alice said if I ask for it, I will get it for sure because I got a higher priority. Well, I know I used to be very careful on money and spending etc, but this time i guess i care more about how Alice would think of me and our relationship. I'm now a maturer person than before i guess, although I still have a bad idea about personal financial...

Anyway, Alice is a good girl, what she decided is nothing wrong. I am not a jerk who will relay on someone else to get what I want, neither my parents, nor my life parter. I can afford a PS3 if i want to have one in the future, I can live on my own hands.

Brian, what you've done is exactly what a real man should do. I am proud of you.

feel tired and pathetic

I don't wanna do this any more
I don't wanna do this any more
I don't wanna do this any more

These days are my most busy days after i came in T4G...I talk so much with my team mate, and I actually don't agree on many stuff he decides but I felt my knowledge is far from sharp to defeat his point of view most of time. As Jeff told me, this is more a learning opportunity to me than anything else. I think he is right, and I did learn a lot from Darrel, but I do think Stuart is a much smarter man.

Damn I am so into this relationship now. I don't know what to do to have total control on everything. As I typed this, I thought that I am the same type of person as Mel and Brian. Who knows...

Just called A, actually she called me after we talked a bit on MSN, she is quite lazy i would say, lol, too lazy to type, but she is a good person, a good girl, a good one who deserve a lot of love. I never thought that I would rather go for a girl like her before this fall, but now, I don't know if I can still stay alive with out think about her... I really don't know what I want now... :( Pathetic me...

A and B

A is a nice girl who i kept meeting with during the last few weeks. Yes I am dating her. This news has been spreaded all over my friends in Hfx, even some friends in Fred know this...I don't really want too much ppl to know at this stage coz simply i don't know what is going to happen myself, but anyway, things seem like going to the direction that out of my control. Or...do I wanna control it at all?

All of my friends support me persurading A. Including friends know and don't know my identity. I've been a single (by saying single i mean have no girlfriend) for about four years. I still remember when i broke up with my ex-girlfriend Miranda. She was such an adorable girl. We didn't have many thing in private, and I wasn't care about her too much. Sorry Miranda, I really sorry for what I've done. It's good to leave me anyway... And because of I know who I am and what I wanted during these years, I didn't wanna cover myself with a fake relationship with whoever female, instead I had two boyfriends one after another.

Angus, I still remember the time I spent with you. It wasn't all about happy times, more i can remember than happiness are our fights. It wasn't a nice ending between you and me but it was the right one. You are not a bad person at all, I loved you but I can't afford to live without myself. Xiaojin, we had a short repationship since we are so far apart. It was a crush for me, maybe because I didn't have what i wanted, and you just appear at the right time. U are adorable, affctionite. our relationship would last longer if we did not separate.

Anyway...all have gone. They say things you can't get are always the best ones, as the reason K said about our relationship, and with J. Only one thing you are wrong about me, K. I would never dump you if u don't dump me, although I'm not 100% sure about this myself...

Back to A, I like her alot, and I wanna have someone to share my life. Note, I said someone. I know who I am in bed, but I'm nolonger so picky... being alone is not a good thing all the time. I can certainly enjoy being left alone aside for sometime, but also nice to have one that i can show my care to, and not afraid to let the rest of the world know... A, please don't hold me a inch away, I'm afraid if this goes on, I might lost the motivation I rarely have on girls...

Brian is a good boy. I promise to the rest of the world. If you feel Brian is a cold person and hard to reach his heart, you are wrong about him. He is shy. He is afraid to talk to strangers. He wants someone to hold him like a child.

I almost cried out...
LOVE

Who Do I want?

I am really confused by myself now... I don't even know what do i want, who do i want...

To be frank, I am still the one I used to be, but this doesn't mean I can deny the feeling that I do want to be with someone, even that is a girl... If J or K or even Json can be with me, I would never wanna go fo A. Maybe because I was just being alone for too long.

I feel ashamed of myself, and pity... inside.

Another busy wknd

The game between UNBSJ and UNBF has been held for 4 years. I was there last year, and we were having the best formation we've ever had, but we lost. This time we don't even have enough players in Fredericton and I had to drive back to help, but we got a draw. It wasn't a great result but definitly not a bad one.

Weicheng said I played a good game, and most friends from Fred said I have improved a lot. I really don't know... I used to play a lot in the first two months after I arrived in Halifax, but I haven't been play for a month before, and I had my nail injured... Maybe I am improved indeed...Anyway, that's a good thing.

Gu Ming said he will introduce me that girl I saw in the moon party... I thought about this for quite a lot these days. I know what I was interested in, and it shouldn't be able to change, but the thing is, I might really have some interest in that girl too. Is that because I really want to have someone by my side? Mom asked me about girlfriend for many times, and my grandma, too. I am not old for sure, but maybe it is time for me to get a girlfriend now... I'm a little bit nurvers, afraid, and excited. Now I really don't know who I am...

feel lazy

I just feel lazy this week, every morning i wanna stay in the bed for a little while, which resulted in late for the bus this morning...So i got to work at 9, half hour later than usual. No big deal, I'm still early enough to not be the last one in the office. But i don't have good mood to work either. This kind of mood lasts even since i was back from NYC. Maybe I shouldn't take that vacation at all...makes me feel lazy again, no motivate to work...

Anyway, although I told Johnny I hurt my toe last sunday, and I told him I can't play for him this Sunday, but i decided to help him out. I will risk my nail and see what i can do for him. Matt won't understand this. I admit that I am a emotional person sometimes, and I am generally good to my friends, well... to those I like. Johnny is not just a friend to me, I like him, or maybe i should say i loved him. He is not a really good looking guy, and he is not the kind of person i was/am looking for, but i like him. I don't even know why...it just the feel that i can't deny. Well, too bad Joe won't go, I can't see him in SJ this weekend. I think i have already walked out from him. We are good friends. but i'm not sure if we are as good as my other friends. I don't know. For me, Joe is still my Mr.s right, and still mysterious. Maybe this increases the good feeling that I have about him.

Ok gotta go now. Tonite Matt, me, Yuan, Erin, Johnson and his wife are going to the Moon festival party. Hope it is gonna be a good one.

Back from New York

I have to admit that I like New York City in all. Although that's not exactly where I wanna live for my life, but if I do have an oppotunity to live and work in Manhattan, I think I will accept it.

What I like: Chinese food, Shopping Center, Nintendo World, Fifth Ave, Urban life, Central Park, Apple Store, Time Square...
What I hate: Too many people, too busy, too many starbucks, dirty subway, tough people, buildings are too crowd, no KFC...

I still like New York as what it is. Because if it changes, it won't be new york again. It's the unique, special city.

Pity or Regret

I wanted to title this entry as "遗憾 or 后悔" but I found that my English is really not strong enough to express my feelings about this weekend. Checked google translate and ciba @ kingsoft, still can't find a better translation. Well, could be our mother language being too powerful. lol

Well, first, the stripe club.
Matt, Frank, Weiwei, and I were in the only stripe club in Halifax, on Saturday night. it was soooooooo bad, really really crappy place, most of their ladies were out of shape(5 in total), or with no boobs at all... Anyway, I wasn't really interested at all. Matt, Frank and Weiwei were not interested either, the quanlity was too bad to interest any of us. It's just being a matter of fact that we have to get in to prevent we feel regretable that we did not accturally go, but everyone feel that we shouldn't have get in there after we came out. Anyway, I wasn't interest at all. For me, I was just don't want them too tell anything they shouldn't know.

Second, the air show.
I'm not a military fans, and I wasn't interested in aircrafts before i went to see the air show, but I have to say the airshow is a nice experience in all. Although it could be better if the weather was nice.

We saw 1 of the only 21 B-2 Sprite Stealth Bomber fly over our head at a very low height quitely. It was sooooooo cool! But i felt so pity that I lost my best chance to take the nicest picture of it. I wasn't focusing accuratly enough, sigh...


After B-2, there was an F-15 super sonic aircraft showed it's capacity to over come the wave drag. All of us were shocked by that. I've only seen that in pictures on the internet but last day we saw that in front of us. And there was a jet truck show, ran at a speed of 350 mph. With the weather turning from bad to worst, we left the air show earlier than we expected. We did not see the snowbird flying show, which left us something to see the next year, a little to regret about.

24

Now I'm offcially 24.
Happy birthday, Brian.

Fight with myself

Matt told me last night that his student loan has been deducted for 3800. Definitly a good news for him, and now he is planning how to spend those "extra" cash in NYC. What about me? I don't know...I'm now really need to save money.

Well...I'm not really bankrupted yet but I know how much I charge on my credit card every months, and, gosh why there are so many stuff I wanna have? I can still remember there used to be some time when I was in Fredericton, I worked in Manchu Wok and for Dr. Angeles, and was taking 6 courses before my graduation. My life was fully arranged with everything: study, project, meeting, TA, parttime job, social, soccer, etc. Although I wored in the "Biggest" mall in Fred, but i rarely buy anything in there. Maybe I just need to find something to fullfill my life. I want to keep my life a bit busier than what I'm having now, but do I wanna do it indeed?

Last night I went to Bayer's Lake to return those things I bought from Home Outfitter, and I went to Homesense and Winners after. I saw two nice shelves I wanted, but I did not buy them. I think that was a victory with myself. I'm quite happy, really. I do know what I want, but I need to know what I really need, and then plan on what I buy.

Tomorrow is gonna be my 24'th birthday, I will open a account with Altamira or ING, and start to save some money for my future, although I don't have a lot right now...

Crstal Crescent Beach Revisit

it was a great long weekend, had 4 friends came over from NB.
Well, as usual, we went to water front to see(show) the downtown area, and where i work, take some pics, had calamira(can't remember the name)...then went to the spring garden road, then mall, then we went to a new restraunt called hungery chilli, all spicy and hot food, nice authenticated chinese food. I LOVE it! But it turn out to be every good thing has it's down side. the price of their rice is a ripe off for sure... we decided if we are going next time, we will bring rice alone.

The next day is the highlight of the whole weekend. I wanted to go to soccer but they draged me to the beach, and yeah i'm pretty happy i went to the beach. Although I was there with Matt once, but it is still so nice to revisit it. The nice silver sand, green and blue see water, warm sunshine, even the water is warmer than what it should be. I definitely love to go to beach. This time I brought my huge camera alone, with battery charged, with memory stick cleared. lol. Took some shots of the family beach, and... the nude beach. lol. I wanna go to the nude beach naked as well...but i wanna go with my special someone. Don't know when he will show up. I missed the soccer on Sunday afternoon, it was the only chance i can play in a week. I wish i can get more oppotunities to play soccer, like what i used to do in my university days.

After the beach it was the triditional buffet... again... But the nice thing is, we played WE at my place at night, I won some, lost some. not too bad in all, but i could be better if i get win Matt. I lost him 5:0 :(

Sunday was rainny, played some WE. they left at 4, got another friend come over and did some private stuff. I don't feel great actrully. Maybe on that thing, Angus was the best one i had, but i don't regret that we broke up. I now have my own life, which is great, indeed. I consider myself as an independent person so we were not sutible for eachother at all. Jayson told me he can't see why most people should not like me, I hope he is correct. Wish you can get a good b/f before long, Brian.

How not to treat your computer

Anyone reading all these?

I'm treating this blog as my diary, write down some none sense words for myself, or...do i write them down for anyone? even myself don't usually look back what i've written. Is this the way bolg should be? I don't know.

I feel more empty now than ever after I moved to my new apartment. I missed soccer for more than 3 weeks, I now live farther from Matt, I went out with friends every weekends but I still feel empty inside. Luo wrote me an email last weekend told me that he missed me a lot. yeah I know we were in deep love a yeah before. actrully today is our Anniversary, the big day of our short relationship. I actrully do miss you too, a little.

Maybe every man is a playboy inside. likes to watch beautiful girls (boys) , just like me. After I broke up with Luo this spring, I quickly fall in the emotion of love, with the fabolus HK boylish Joe Well...it's not so smooth as always. he turn out to be my good friend now, like QY in the past. I like this kind of change, it's not what i really wanted, it's not what i dreamed about, but it could be the best ending for both me and him. Friends may last forever, lovers? I don't know.

When I played soccer last weekend after we came back from Shediac exausted camping trip, I saw a new face in the Dal soccer crew. I don't know anything about him yet, even his name. But he got nice body and face, and a little bit bad boy looking. Not as perfect as Joe but yeah he is my type. I tried to talk to him but he doesn't seem to pay attention. Anyway, I feel myself changed a lot after come to Canada. Or maybe I did not change at all, it's just I did not discover the playboy side of myself in the past.

Although I'm not sure about many stuff, but there's one thing I'm really sure about.
I WON'T GET MARRIED BEFORE I'M 30.

Trip, Money, and something else

I'm gonna have a vacation on the week of Sept 18th. I'm gonna go to New York!
Initially I did not plan for this trip, Yuan did, coz he has to take a week vacation before the end of Sept or else he's gonna lose it. Matt and I wanted to have a break as well, so we decided to go to New York. Oh yes, the first US experience is now officially on schedule.

To be frank, I'm a little bit worried about my financial status. I kept spending money like never before for three months till now. I bought some expensive janes, jackets and shirts, I bought xbox360 and games, I bought a set of couch, I moved to a new apartment by myself...Even I myself am suprised how much money I've spend in the past three months. I should go back to the days like I was in the University. Keep myself busy with working and exercises. Aosl I should make full use of my TV cable services as well as my new xbox360, take less time shopping.

I planned to open an account in Altamira on my birthday, and begin to save money. Yeah I should follow my plan.

Joe sent me several pictures about his trip in Montreal, I sent him some my pictures in Halifax and Shediac too. Discussed his trip to Halifax with him but I still don't know if he is comming or not, I have no expectation now. Good if he comes, nothing to lose otherwise, we are friends.

Found a pretty neat game online, hard though :(
http://www.boredmuch.com/view.php?id=764

"Good" camping

Well...this was my first experience about camping. I said, feel the nature, get wild, and we end up with feel the nature, not get wild.
The first day was good, weather was nice, a warm day, i feel like i was in my childhood my mom took me to the sea side in Weihai. The beach is big, really big. It's the first time i see so many people in a tourism site, and they are all Canadian! well...except us. The beach wasn't as good looking as Crystan Crescent Beach in Halifax, but the good part is it is warm so we can get in to the water. Salty sea water, long time no see(taste).
Before we went to the beach, we set up our tent in the campground. I thought that was not a hard job, and it does look good when it has been setup. But at night when it rained, we end up with leaking all over it. Yeah, there's something to do with the odd shape of the two bedroom tent. but if we set it up tightly, it shouldn't had so much water stayed on top. Anyway...the result was, we slept in water. :(
At night we had some chinese food in a restraunt near by, Cantonese Fried Lobster was good. and their egg roll was good too. lol. we prepared to have some bbq sausage and drink for the night but we only had some mashmaro and crackers. played some pocker, some majon, and it began to rain.
In the tent we talked a lot, some deep conversation. About girls, about personalities, future, life attitude, etc. I have been asked some tough questions, but i did give a good answer, i did not lie at all, really. I like Nancy, and i don't wanna break out relationship as best friends... Anyway, I did not lie about my sexturality. They doubted about it, and I'm pretty sure that they are still doubting about it now. I don't mind ppl know the truth, but I only wanna come out to my best friends.

In all, it was a interesting experience, my first camping experience, and yeah, i wanna do it again, in a better weather. lol

Best South Park Quotes Ever

Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?Mr. Garrison: What did you just say?!
Cartman: Oh, I'm sorry (Clears throat and pulls out megaphone), actually what I said was, "How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison?"

Mr. Garrison: I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

Cartman: Respect My Authority!

Mr. Garrison: Does anyone know what sexual harassment means?
Cartman: When you are tying to have intercourse with a special lady friend and some other guy comes up and tickles your balls from behind.

Cartman: It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

Crystal Crescent Nude Beach

It was my first time been on a nude beach. Me and Matt were not really expecting to see many nude over there but there are several of them. I did see two nice build sexy bodies but too bad i can't stare at them. lol. If I was there with someone special, I may would have join them already. Everyone on the beach wasn't shy, at least they don't look shy to show their private part of their good looking or bad looking bodies. Some of them are really fax, disgusting fat I mean. If I have such a body, I don't know what i would do...Anyway, the beach was beautiful, that's the key point.

Death not an obstacle for Kim loyalists

Seoul - North Korean workers risked their lives to protect pictures of their leader when the communist country was hit by devastating floods last month, state media said on Tuesday.
The official Korean Central News Agency, monitored by South Korea's Yonhap news agency, reported tales of the bravery of North Koreans dedicated to saving Kim Jong-Il's images from harm.

A forestry research institute official died after saving portraits of Kim Jong-Il and his late father Kim Il-Sung on July 16 when a landslide hit his home in the eastern county of Yangdok, it said.

On another occasion, a miner fled to the rooftop of his house but was swept away by floods after handing over Kim Jong-Il's portrait to his colleagues, KCNA said.

"Such impressive stories are common in many flood-hit areas. Our people are faithful to the Dear Leader as they are willing to risk their lives for him," KCNA said in a commentary.

Kim Jong-Il's portraits, a key symbol of his personality cult, have long been ubiquitous in homes, offices and public buildings, where they hang prominently beside pictures of Kim Il-Sung, North Korea's founder.

North Korea's official media have admitted that hundreds of people were dead or missing after a severe typhoon followed by heavy rain hit the country last month.

An independent South Korean aid group claimed that up to 10 000 North Koreans were believed dead or missing in what Pyongyang's official media have described as the worst flooding in a century.

from http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=29&art_id=qw1155028321534N263

Outdoor weekend

Last weekend was a fun weekend. Although I had my first two guest in my new apartment, two girls, but they were in really good manner so I was pretty happy in all.

6 friends came from Fred to have their vacation here in Halifax. Matt, Yuan and I were the hosts. It's not really a big thing for them to stay in whose place but Matt was just exthausted after their gone. Anyway...

We went to the public garden on Saturday afternoon before dinner. Took some pictures. It's just a place for relax. If I live on SG road, I may go there for a break everyday.

Sunday we went to Cape Split. It was a totally unexpected experience. OK we were expecting something like Funday Bay National Park in NB but this time, we went into a real walking tral. Mud and grass all the way, hard to walk, or I should say struggle. We saw a white girl fully loaded walked by, and some people bringing their dog there. Wild. Totally wild. Look at us, we were in causual clothes, in the mood of going to someplce not tough at all... Several of us dirt our clothes and shoes, some are even damaged, but in all, it is the first realy hiking experience for most of us, and it's FUN! We went to the "beach" nearby. It's a beach all covered by small rock and wet mud...Nothing fun at all...

Monday we suppose to go to Crystal Beach which is said to be a real beach, but we end up in the mall for 2 hours and then...Peggy's Cove again...

Well...I guess that's one side of Canadian tourism, totally natural. There are lots of natural sights in China too, but at least in here, it's not a big crowd with plastic bags everywhere.

I HATE MOVING

Some people are just stupid jerk, they won't help, they won't understand, they won't do anything good, and they are lazy as hell.
For those who gave me a hard time, FUCK YOU ALL!!
I'm not regret for what I said and done, I feel good to help my friend in front of me, I will piss all of those people who pissed on me, I will fight back and let everyone know I am a tough person.
Oh yeah, you don't mess with me.

Busy week

It was a busy week. i got some new tasks that is finally some realthing. I created a menu for our TNB website. it takes a properly formated XML file and dynamicly shows the menu using hyperlinks. The best part is it can fold and expand exactly as what i wanted. Oh and i am really proud with the recursive algorithm. lol.

I met some new friends the past week by second hand funiture purchasing. One Chinese girl, one Malaysian boy, and a HongKong young man. I added all of them to my msn contact list. What did I bought? a double metress, a large desk, and some small stuff.

Speaking of shopping, I bought an XBOX360 from Dell.ca It's a really good deal, one console with 20G harddrive bundle, an extra wireless controller, and a PGR game, all for 499+tax, I saved 100+ lol.
I do spend a lot of money these days, and I will need to get a lot more furnitures after I move in. Hopefully my credit card and my salary can afford all these.

Doolys

First time in Dooly's, a nice experience.

I did not do too bad except sunk my white ball countless times. lol. But Darryl is pretty good at this. We did not do too bad in the first game, our opponent only won by default since sunk the white ball after sunk the black one. In our second game, I sunk two balls, the first one and the last one. It was a great great great lucky shot that I took for the last ball. God I promise that I was just testing my range but it was in. What a fabulous shot! Because of that lucky shot, we got our first victory. In the last game, I did better than before. Although I didn't have great shot but I did managed to sunk 3 or 4 balls, and Darryl sunk the black one so we won. Yes!

I wasn't very interested in playing pool before but I found it is interesting. I enjoyed the atmosphear, the beer, the pizza, and the chatting although i didn't understand a lot. I'm in, next time.

Arrogant?

I don't think i am really an arrogant person, but i do think myself as a cold person when i deal with someone i don't really like. Fu Yibo is a nice person i have to say, but your problem is speaking too much. I don't know how you think of yourself no matter for soccer skills or female attraction, I just don't agree with ya. And...I'm not interested in what you talked about girls at all. Even if i was interested, that's Chinese. And speaking of soccer skill...I almost laughed my ass off. I don't consider myself as a good player comparing to those semi professional players. I don't have fancy skills or a good idea about formation etc. I just really don't know why people can think himaself as such a strong player with such technique. INTERESTING...

Well, anyway, he is not a bad person but has many short comings. I will get in touch with students in SMU soon. hopefully I will beable to play soccer more often in the furture.

What a weekend

I had two friends (soccer buddies) and one of their girlfriend came over to halifax on the past weekend. We had a very good time together but I did heard some bad news from them. Well...it's not that bad but just fight between my friends in Fred. About a girl, and it's about a bad girl. I'm not personally interested in that, I just care about my friends. Frank is such a ncie person, too nice to hurt anyone. Weicheng is smart, but his way of treating girls and his way of pursuing them are not what i would like to follow. Pang Lei...I'm not really familiar with him but his soccer is what i admired. He is a childish man i can tell, sometimes. LOL. I remember that Joe said "childish man is shit" hahaha. I love this.

We had lots of drink on Saturday night, and lots of chat. Every time some friend come over from Fred can make me very excited. I love to chat with them, I love to know what happened. I don't consider myself as a Ba Gua person but I do like to know things around my friends. I wish they can handel no matter what happened to them, and i would like to offer any help if i can.

We went to the mall on Saturday, we went to have dimsum on Sunday morning, we had a walk on the water front after dimsum, we went to Peggy's cove on Sunday afternoon, we had chinese food on Sunday night. It was the best weekend I had after my arrival to Halifax. It could be better, lol. I'm thinking of too much.

Confused...

Both my roommate and my landlord are complaning about eachother in front of me... I don't know what should I do now.

I don't know...Both of you are my "friend", I don't like Leslie a lot but sometimes she is a pretty nice person, and she thinks I'm nice too. Darren is a nice looking young man, I like him much better than Leslie since I am who I am. But I don't know him too well, his life and personallity is kinda mistery.

Anyway, it's not really my business, all i need to do is to keep nice distance with both of them, and be a good man.

My England jersey

Bought from ebay, 60+ bucks, nice deal.

moving soon

This is being planned long ago. I did not intend to live in that room for too long at the first place, and also there are several noise sources around me from morning to the night, can't really bare them for long term. Plus, if ur mail has been opened by someone else, luckly it was not a credit card bill, how would you think of that house owner? And, could you please stop calling me all the time to ask me for little stuff? So tired of it.

Anyway, gotta move to a new 1br apt at the end of this month. everything will go away. I did not dream about this crazy but yeah i do wanna live alone. I can visit my friends from time to time. Johnson is really near, 3 mins driving, Matt is not far, 10 mins driving. And, I can invite them to me, which is really not practical in the small room here.

Oh, i can cook there after. Don't need to eat all canned food, or frozen food any more. Although I do not hate them, but speaking of eat healthy, better to cook myself. What more...yeah, don't need to share bathroom with other people. This is really nice. lol.

But i gotta open the power account, and move the interent, cable, and hook up the phone to make use of that panasonic fancy phone i bought month ago. Maybe I will cancel my cellphone plan, or...no let me keep it. the sim card cost something at least...but i will switch the plan. OK from then on, everyone call me at my office phone or home phone.

I do wanna decorate the apartment a good place. I wanna buy that sofa set in Sears Outlet. It is really really expensive, but i love the shape, the lether. It looks fabulurs in deed, but just pricy. I will wait until the day I'm moving, and if the sofa is still there, I will go buy it, and I will save some money from clothing by not going to winners for months. Oh i need a new bed as well... there is a good deal in zellers but still. 500+ is so expensive for me. I think i will get a double or queen size mattress second hand, and put a memory foam on top to make it a good one. I'm still thinking of buy a box or not...I think a frame from ikea is necessary since i will buy something from ikea later on for sure. so...ah...no idea now. think about this later.

England lost, my world cup is gone

Shitty Portugal players, you are not playing soccer, you are acting!! Fuck you C.Ronaldo. Fuck you stupid referee. I will not watch any game of Man U until C.Ro get the fuck out of that team. You are a son of bitch indeed.

England is gone, my world cup is gone. Although I will watch the rest of the games but it is not important any more. I wish germany can get the cup, I wish France can beat the shit out of Porgutal. The only player in Portugal I still like is Deco, he is talented, he is a Brizalian.

My car...sigh...

I wasn't intend to be lazy, but i do get up later than the first few weeks. I need to keep up a bit but i don't want to. Feel sleepy, so sleepy this morning... i almost felt into sleep when i wait for visual studio to open up on the virtural machine. No mood to do stuff, but have to. I'm a bit stressed.

My car is having problem as well. I think it's because the struts are too old and need to be maintained/replaced. and somework need to be done to my steering wheel, too. I was soo pissed off by my car. I don't want to and i don't have much money to put on cars right now. Lots of stuff to buy/pay. sigh...but i can't leave it there. I thought about sell it last night. Maybe that is a good idea, before it goes completely down.

Bad mood...

should i be glad? should i be happy? should i be mad? should i be sad?
I don't know...

England won, I argued with my best friend. Joe wrote a sad entry, I felt emptyed.
I wish I can have you.

Another rainny day, another dark day, another work day, another lonely day.
I only want to sleep over all these.

People...be smart...

I don't mean to be offensive, but sometimes, some people do give me the feeling that they are stupid. like this one, my land lord...OK don't blame me about ur missing file. I did not know what u have done. What i did was just press ctrl+s which saves the file, if you deleted that file after i was gone, it is all your business. I don't usually get mad at ppl but it doesn't mean that i'm not tired of stupid stuff.

Bought a jacket, nice one, "nice" price as well, from Victorinox. Cost me 130 + tax which is almost the most expensive piece that i bought in Canada. But i do need one. Its look and quanlity are superb. The style falls between formal and casual, a complement for my wardrobe. But my iPod can't fin in the "personal device" pocket in that jacket, maybe i am going to buy a nano. My iPod photo is a little big indeed. Well...I will wait and see. Maybe I am going to buy myself a nice birthday gift.

Speaking about my birthday, yeah it is not too far away. I'm going to turn into my 24th year of my life. I laughed at Nancy last night for kidding about she is one year older than me now...actrully there are only three months to go. OMG, I'm already 24, no girlfriend, no partner, no nothing... I do have my Mustang, and some digital toys. What should be my next target? I am going to figure out an anwser to this very good question for myself.

I bought a black short too, also it is from Victorinox, 40 bucks plus tax. I did not intend to buy more clothes before last night...ok, those are the gift for my first pay in T4G, good excuse. lol.

Don't let me down England

England, you really let me down...40 years, now it's the time to break the myth, and it's at the last minute, u crushed yourself...

I've been loving you for almost 10 years, since i started to watch soccer, since i started to play, since i was still young and have ensuthiasm about many things, which i may already lost most of them but the one about soccer...Please, don't let me down any more...

Joe Cole, you are the man of the match. look at ur move, pass, shot, defence... everything is perfect except the result of the match. But u can do nothing more about it as well, soccer meant to be team play, one man can be a sinner sometimes, but one man can not save the whole team.

Gerrard, you changed my point of view of Liverpool, I will start to watch Liverpool later on. If you were on the field from the beginning, there should be more goals and more brilliant passes. Now i see you are becomming the core of the midfield of England, after David Beckham.

Rooney, you are still young, you still have lots of time and oppotinuties. Work on your skills, use ur strong body, you may not be as good as Ronaldinio, but you could be the next Gascoigne. I have high expectation on you.

David Beckham, Michael Owen, Peter Crouch, Ashly Cole, Rio Ferdinand... all of you are good, but not excellent. For those who are old, maybe it's time to think about leaving. For those who are still young, way to go...

Robinson, you just suck! You can't do a thing! I don't wanna ever see you again in the field! Go home, don't ruin England...

England, I hate that I love you.

Soccer weekend

Did not do much this weekend but soccer stuff. really, it is a soccer weekend for me.

I abanded the oppotinute to go to toronto for soccer...yeah part of the many reasons. Anyway, i did not go. if there was someone going with me, i would change my idea for sure but no one is thre unforturantly.

Soccer was fun, i played with some canadian...yeah maybe they are not local ppl. They are good, better than me. I wanna play more with ppl like them. Playing with those lazy old Dal ppl will only make me more and more lazy to play, and won't improve myself much. I plan to bring my soccer shoes with me to work from next week. I will go to dal after work to see if i can find some ppl to play for a while. Oh i did hurt my right foot this time. coudl be someone stepped on my big toe. but i did not realized it until i took shower last night. it's not getting hurt...Summer is on it's way, i wish my toe won't look too bad with sandals on. Had a big dinner with Johnson + wife, and Matthew. Say happy birthday to Johnson. Thinking that you are actrully much older than me, wish u won't get too old to communicate with. lol.

I went to the Bayer's business park with my new roommate on Friday... I was totally unexpected that he will dress like that... It's not really crappy if those clothes were worn tidy. But he just looked so so so so sooooo crappy. Anyway, i felt regreted to ask him to go out, and i will definitly think twice next time when i ask him out.

Lazy

I think weather is a big factor of the many things that can affect my mood. When it's wet and dark, i don't wanna do anything. Last day when i off work i felt so sleepy on the bus. I did not do too much at work. tried out NAnt only, and the rest time are all devoted to World Cup, which i shouldn't do at work... but I just have nothing to do really...just being lazy.

I found out that i am actrully not the only one who cares about the match. Stuart was watching the game too. He was so funny...he left his TV on, and had his webcamera pointing to the TV at home. Then when the time comes, he started a video conversation with his TV. Almost laugh out. I then told him TVAnts, he managed to find a Dutch channel brodcasting the game live.

England made me so so sooo worried last day when i was watching the game. I don't like their performance. David Beckham was great. Gerrard was good too. I don't like Peter Crouch. He is so tall and so skinning, no good skill on both head and feet. wondering why he can stick on the field for 90 mins. England got the best midfield ever this year, but their forward just sucks...Don't let me down, England. I'm not expecting too much, just a semi-final...

Oh it was sooooo windylast night. I feel a bit scared. But this morning it's fine again, wish the sunshine will last until the weekend. I miss the soccer field alot. I will go out for running tonite again, with eating nothing this time. The food almost killed me last time, stomac hurt. I should be insist on doing some push ups everyday. I did 30 this morning, was wondering how could i do 40 at Joe's place...Thinking of finding a place with Luke together. To save some, and to have somewhere feel like home. Wish he can be a good roommate. Old, but good.

Not too late.

I know it's already Thu but still, i wanna place something here before i go to my bed.

I did go out to run for about 15 mins. it has been a very long time since last time i was running outside without the soccer ball. it wasn't that fun as described by Joe, but i do feel good about it. I think i will go out to run from time to time. Especially in the days that i'm lack of sports. I wish i can live in a nice apt where there is a small gym in it so that i can run and do some weight exercise even the weather is wet.

I was quite happy about the new roommate, although he is much older than i am...actrully he is only 6 years younger than my father, i should call him uncle indeed. But he seems like a nice person, he does not talk to me like he is a senior, and i talked alot with him. Luke. I just don't like the name, lol. no reason for that but i just don't feel good about the name itself.

oh i went to futureshop to return the digital camcorder last night, sorry futureshop. :P after that i went to winners... typical me... i was looking, just looking, and tried several tops. I really like the orange jacket, it's 69 dollors, but it looks pretty good on me except the size is a bit baggy for my body. and the black DKNY tshirt...it's not my daily style but it looks pretty nice. The nike long sleeve track top kinda fits my taste, but i guess i won't be wearing it too much if i buy it. I end up with buying nothing. btw i think i really like bright colors recently, like lime green, orange etc. I wanted to buy an orange nike cap too, which is 12 bucks. I did not take it but i may go back later. that is not expensive and i like it.
There is one thing i need to do tonite but i forgot to do it. Now i don't really have much time for it. I think i become a bit forgetful these days. I need to take some note from now on, like a todo list.

here i am

OK, so here is the real beginning, i wish i can continue on it thereafter... I know i am quite easy to be affected by ppl i care about, but from deep inside, i'm still myself. it's just many of you don't know the true me.

Anyway, I woke up early this morning. I don't know why i lost sleep for a bit last night but i still woke up at 6:15am, with out anyone turn on the annoying fan in the bathroom. Darren talked to me but i did not hear him clearly. Could be complaining about my getting earlier than him, and I took the bathroom.

I finally got my hair cut last day, finally. Actrully i can't stand it for two weeks but I was thinking of getting it in Trade Secret in Fred, but i was too late on Saturday...guess i always make something later than it suppose to be, and it's always not way too late, just several mins late. This is really a bad habit of me. I will quit it for sure, hopefully without other ppl's help. I am the kind of person who don't want ppl's help most of the time. Even Jeff Smith remembers that I said that is one of my weakness and could be the greatest one...

Need to be happier now, actrully i am. just talked with sam on msn. he said he lost his passion too...so guess it's not only my problem but a common one. I would like to be the same as other ppl sometimes, but it also means no real good solution for the problem. guess I need to work harder, not at workplace only but in my life too. thinking of going out for some exercise after work. maybe run for a while. used to run a lot in my high school, after classes, with some friends...all the past.

yeah, it is the music i listened on the bus today that recalled my old time, from Robbie Williams... I like him.